The Cheap &
Real Fix

We all have legitimate needs. Whether they be physical - for rest, for play, for good health and exercise. Emotional - to feel safe and secure, to feel worthy, to be loved. Relational - to have authentic connection with others, to belong, to be known and accepted. Or spiritual - to be connected with God and his people, to have a purpose greater than ourselves, to have meaning and hope.

Cheap fixes are an attempt to meet legitimate needs, but they never truly satisfy, and often lead us further away from what we truly desire.

A man who has a deep need to feel worthy receives feedback at work that has made him feel like he was underperforming and incapable. If he holds the false core belief that his worth is based on the approval he receives from those above him at work, this will lead to impaired thinking such as, “I’m only as good as my last performance - it was a failure, and so I’m a failure”, or “I just need to keep trying harder”. To try harder, he becomes a workaholic (a cheap fix) but never truly feels satisfied because there is always someone in leadership with advice on what he could be doing better. And so he continues to neglect his family and faith, in an endless pursuit of worth through his work (world-likeness). And when he feels insufficient, he finds that pornography (another cheap fix) can give him a sense of validation and acceptance, however fleeting it may be, as there is no fear of rejection in this fantasy world. This drives him further from intimacy with his wife and hardens his heart to God, and so reinforces his belief that his worth needs to come from others, for he feels great shame about who he has become and cannot see how he could have inherent worth as made in the image of God.

But what if this man with a need for feeling worthy held a truth-based core belief, such that he is worthy because not only is he made in the image of God, but that in Christ he has been redeemed, adopted as a son into God’s family, not based on performance but grace. This would lead to right thinking, that “even though I have received negative feedback, I can listen to it and glean what is helpful, for my worth is not based on my boss’s approval; it is secure in Christ”. From here, he may choose to go for a walk around the block while calling a trusted mentor to share this feedback with them and create a plan to work on what is a priority. He might take time that evening to share with his wife how the feedback made him feel, spend time reading through Ephesians 1:4-5 and praying openly to God, asking him to let these words of truth define him. These are examples of a real fix that leads us to lives that reflect Christ, Christ-likeness, as we grow in character and perseverance by finding our needs met in the call that Jesus has on our lives. This would then reinforce the core belief the man has, that he is worthy in Christ, as he experiences the unconditional love of Jesus in this situation as he acts in accordance with the Spirit and not the flesh. This is where true satisfaction is found.

Pornography and other cheap fixes are not the heart of the issue, they are attempted solutions, or fixes, to issues of the heart. Moving off the cheap fix cycle and into the real fix cycle does not happen through the flick of a switch. It so often happens in community, over time with others on the same journey, as we vulnerably open ourselves to God and others, to examine our hearts, thoughts and behaviours, learning new ways of operating that meet our legitimate needs in legitimate ways.

Linden Simmons
July 2026